In 2007, Facebook took the world by storm. The social media platform promised people they could connect with their friends, family, and high school buddies they never would have bothered to find otherwise. A couple of decades later, social media is something completely different than what Facebook promised us. It’s this evil force that draws us in for hours on end and makes us unhappy. Social media is like a bad high school party. Everyone’s part of it, but no one’s having fun.
Despite the seemingly infinite content at your fingertips and the countless people taking part, you can condense any social media to these few types of people.
1. The Main Character™: “Just a lil day in my life 🧺☕✨”
These people post a heavily curated version of their life. You know the one: elaborate pictures of coffee mugs and sunsets, or crying selfies with Lana Del Rey captions. As their online friend, this gives you a distorted look at their life. To themselves, this means an identity crisis and a victim mentality. After all, they’re constantly putting themselves in vulnerable positions just to take a picture. A couple of decades ago, we were making fun of Truman from The Truman Show, now we have friends who use social media as their own reality show.
Examples include TikTok “day in my life” vlogs, Instagram reels that look like perfume ads.
2. The Clout Prophet: “Here’s how I made $7K in 2 weeks with just AI and a dream 💡📈”
As someone who’s been writing about creativity, productivity, and self-help, this has been unavoidable. In fact, I’m sure I’m responsible for this, too. Whenever you read threads on “hustle hacks” or recycled wisdom that seems genius, but it’s derivative, then you’re dealing with the Clout Prophet. Their main drive is making money. They’re obsessed with it to the point that they can’t talk (or write) about anything else.
Examples include Elon fanboys and X threads.
3. The Rage Reactor: “This. Is. INFURIATING.”
Rage Reactors are always mad. They’re always the victim of someone or something. They’re identity is outrage, and social media gives them a platform that rewards their anger issues. On top of that, they’re always surrounded by people who are also angry or at least sympathetic to their anger. Engaging with their posts is a never-ending stream of negativity, and needless to say, you should avoid them and unfriend them.
Examples include Facebook uncles and Reddit warriors.
4. The Nostalgia Lurker: “When life was simpler 😭”
These people rarely post anything on social media, but when they do, they share memes about getting old or how the 90s were the peak of civilization. This is the case because they find the present so chaotic that the ideal past is a refuge of sorts. Although they’ll never say it out loud, they probably hate their jobs, their partners, their present life, or all of the above.
Examples include people sharing millennial meme pages and reposting Tumblr text posts.
5. The Algorithm Cultist: “Engagement hack: post three times daily, and use these 15 hashtags”
These people are constantly trying to game the system. They spent too much time studying the algorithm and think they have cracked the code. One week, they’re opening packs of Pokémon cards on YouTube, and the next, they’re licking microphones on Twitch. Instead of following their passions, they’re chasing the latest trend to make a quick buck. To them, posting something is an experiment to get more views. As a consequence, these people lack spontaneity, and they have a manufactured persona that’s not anything like them in real life.
Examples of “Wait, people watch this?” include people acting like video game NPCs in real life, speedrunning the Shrek 2 video game in under 7 minutes, and how to forget the alpha male podcast…
Final Thoughts: You Are the Feed
Although it’s easy to make fun of some of these stereotypes. But here’s the twist: if you’re active online, you are one of them. What worries me about this on a personal level is the fact that if you’re not careful, you lose your identity because you’re trying to please the social media feed.
Social media doesn’t just reflect who we are, it rewires us into who it wants us to be. A more marketable version. A bite-sized persona. A better algorithmic citizen. The problem isn’t just the cringe. It’s that we’ve stopped being people and started performing for an invisible audience. We’re all trying to impress a feed that doesn’t love us back.
So, if you’re reading this, make something weird. Something beautiful. Something not optimized for engagement. The world needs more of that and fewer people whispering “smash that like button” while filming their dinner. Now go outside. Touch grass. Or don’t. But at least be weird on purpose. Oh, and if you liked this post, don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe.