Introduction
There’s this universal impulse we all have to try and get a comprehensive manual for life. Throughout history, every religion and philosophy has tried to provide the “ultimate” system for living well, and while diving deep into any of them is overwhelming, most of them reveal the same pattern, which I’ll discuss in this article.
Reading about Stoicism, Buddhism, or modern psychology feels productive, but even though collecting maps is useful, at some point, you have to stop reading and start living. Everyone who’s into this kind of stuff falls into the same trap at some point: you won’t find an ultimate list that will teach you how to live because that pursuit alone means you’re avoiding the hard work of focusing on one single thing. There will never be a good list for living well because our values and circumstances differ. Also, focusing on one thing requires ignoring everything else. By trying to optimize everything, you risk optimizing nothing. So instead of searching for a universal truth, you should filter advice that genuinely resonates and that you’re willing to act on for a couple of months. After all, a belief only becomes wisdom when it changes behavior.
The uncomfortable truth is that living well isn’t about knowing more, but about choosing one or two things and going deep. The problem for most people is staying consistent enough to see the transformation. Although there’s no universal truth everyone should follow, there are some modern principles that are practical and will benefit everyone. So while there’s no such thing as the ultimate guide to living life, here are some guidelines to consider.
Know Yourself: The Foundation of Everything
Self-awareness is the ability to understand your thoughts, feelings, actions, and how they affect yourself and others. This demands a deep understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses. Without self-awareness, goals and habits are random. Different strategies to develop self-awareness include practicing mindfulness, keeping a journaling habit, and seeking advice from people you trust. This is important because it helps you understand what you value, what you fear, your tendencies, and your emotional patterns.
Build a Body That Can Carry You
Physical vitality shouldn’t be about aesthetics, but about capacity, energy, and resilience. The benefits of exercising regularly are too many to count, but some of them include energy and mood boost, improved muscle and bone strength, improved sleep, and reduced risk of chronic diseases. There are countless exercise routines out there, but I don’t like overcomplicating things. The simplest routine you should follow is this one: exercise three or four times a week, focus on strength training, sleep 8 hours a day, and eat mostly whole foods.
Invest in People Who Matter
Having deep relationships is a strong predictor of happiness, health, longevity, and resilience. The most important variable to consider when it comes to relationships is that quality matters far more than quantity. We take relationships for granted when we’re young, but we shouldn’t, since it’s harder to make friends as we grow older. Even if you find yourself surrounded by friends, cultivating those relationships still takes both time and effort. And remember if you have two people you can be fully honest with, you’re already above average.
Do Work That Makes You Grow
When people talk about work, they often bring passion into the mix. As Cal Newport explains in his book So Good They Can’t Ignore You, meaningful work and passion have nothing to do with one another. “Meaningful” means that work is part of something larger, it’s challenging, and it helps you grow. In other words, meaning doesn’t magically appear; you build it. A combination of skill, contribution, and challenge is what leads to fulfillment. Even simple jobs can be meaningful if you approach them with craftsmanship, service, and mastery in mind.
Protect Your Time and Choices
The modern threat we’re all exposed to is losing our time and attention to mindless distractions. The answer to this problem is autonomy. At its core, autonomy means the feeling that your life belongs to you. Autonomy is one of those things that’s invisible until we lose it, and then it’s the only thing we think about. Loss of autonomy is one of the biggest sources of modern misery and the reason why so many people feel like their ability to concentrate has plummeted.
Learn to Handle Your Mind
If there’s something that the Pixar movie Inside Out taught me is that you should never suppress your emotions. Skillfully handling emotions involves managing stress, responding instead of reacting, and letting go of rumination (the act of thinking deeply about something). Authenticity comes into play here, which refers to living according to your values.
Connect to Something Bigger Than Yourself
Throughout history, people have had the idea that there was an entire dimension beyond them. This meant art, nature, philosophy, religion, community, or creativity, and people sensed it somehow. A series of societal changes affected this, and I’d argue, we’re no longer in touch with this dimension. But even if that’s the case, we humans need transcendence. We need a purpose beyond personal comfort.
In his book, The Denial of Death, Ernest Becker describes what he called immortality projects, a person’s attempt to achieve symbolic immortality by creating a legacy that will outlast their physical life. This meant having children, starting businesses, making inventions, or writing online articles. For Becker, these aren’t a way to cheat death, but to achieve symbolic immortality through lasting contributions.
Conclusion: Stop Collecting Maps and Start Walking
There are literally endless ways to improve your life and achieve personal growth. That said, personal development numbs us with an overwhelming number of resources that make it easy to always be in the planning stage. The value isn’t in knowing the list, but in living it. Instead of constantly planning, we should start with what resonates, put those teachings into action, and refine our path as needed. That’s how we turn a series of practices from a variety of disciplines into a personal philosophy. There may never be a final manual for life, but there is a moment when you stop searching and start building, and that’s where the good life begins.
