Something to Keep
“But often, in the world’s most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the Knowledge of our buried life.”
Matthew Arnold
A Second Look
I think about death often. Not in a macabre kind of way. I just like to keep it present. As weird as it sounds, I want to remember I’m going to die one day. Whenever I’m buying something, spending time with my son, or driving in my car, I just want to remember this inevitable fact of life. It’s a way of telling myself that this thing I’m experiencing right now, whether good or bad, won’t last long.
I know how that sounds, and yes, it scares the shit out of me too. Death is a way to live my best life. It pushes me to come up with the best words I can when I write, to sing like I mean it regardless of who’s watching, and to love until it hurts. Many people will tell you that the Stoics or Christians meditated on death, but I’d challenge that.
In the same way you can’t look at the starry sky and stop thinking about what it all means, it’s inevitable to look at yourself in the mirror and not think about the fact that you won’t be here forever. You might try to escape it through drugs, sex, social media, or whatever your poison is, but it’ll catch up to you. The best thing we can do is accept it, even if you don’t fully understand it.
Now, if you’re wondering what led to this reflection on life and death, it all started with a YouTube channel about cars.
Something I Liked
Last week, I wrote an article about how you can find great advice in unexpected places. I was surprised when I watched the video above and realized it taught me more about life than cars. In fact, you could replace the word “cars” with anything else you’re into, and it’d still work. The video (from a YouTube channel called Speeed) is about getting old, reflecting on life, and developing a unique taste.
There’s a moment where host James Pumphrey talks about how all of his cars had owners before. He says that the previous owners probably brought their firstborn from the hospital in those cars and how they used them to go on vacations together. Weirdly, the video reminded me of an episode of This Is Us that uses a washing machine to show the life of the family. There’s tension between teenage siblings and partners bonding, but it uses a simple household item to show all that.
If you look hard enough, you can find deep meaning in anything. On the surface, the things we buy are just that: mere “things”. But they’re also memories. I know my guitar is more than that. It represents hundreds of hours of practice. It’s the perfect encapsulation of the hopes and dreams I had when I was younger. It’s how I saw myself in this perfect fantasy, surrounded by screaming people. Ironically, it’s also the most fun I had by myself. Nobody knew what I was doing, but I knew, and that was enough.
So whenever I buy something new, I have to accept what that is: a completely irrational process where many emotions are involved. And that’s true whether you’re buying a pair of socks, a guitar, or even a car.