Table of Contents

The Book in Three Sentences

In this summary of Atomic Attraction, you’ll learn to create and maintain attraction with women. The book will help you with everything related to desire and to move people toward you. The author turned over 120 research studies into the ultimate guide to attraction.

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Atomic Attraction Summary

Love is about comfort, safety, and warmth. Attraction is anything but. Building attraction is challenging and unsettling, but if you’re willing to put up with that, you can get the relationship you’ve always wanted. There are many misconceptions about attraction and they led to a phenomenon called Nice Guy Syndrome. To get what you want, you must let go of certain ideas related to chivalry. Instead, embrace your inner masculinity. With the help of modern research, the author wants to answer the question “What do women want?”

Part One: Become Attractive

Despite what most men think, attraction isn’t about being physically beautiful. When women look at men, they look for signals of strength. Looks matter, but the traits that make men attractive aren’t the same as the features that make women attractive. Facially attractive men have facial hair, thick eyebrows, and a broad chin. All those features are a sign of testosterone and women are wired to pay attention to them because testosterone shows good genes. Women don’t care about physical attributes as much as they care about signs of strength and confidence. This signals a man’s ability to provide her with strong and healthy children. Although you can’t change your physical attributes, you can become stronger and more masculine.

Masculinity sounds like a bad world in a world of radical feminism. Constantly trying to please the women around you turns you into an unattractive nice guy. Most men are scared to embrace their masculinity because they don’t think they have it. Society has made men feel weak and powerless. Being strong has nothing to do with violence, hostility, or rudeness. Attraction comes from confidence, not recklessness.

Build a Strong Body

An impressive physique grants respect because it sends a clear message: the person is hard-working, focused, and persistent. To have a strong body, you must sacrifice comfort. In a world where most people look for the easy way out, having a muscular body shows you’re willing to do the opposite.

To become attractive, don’t smoke or drink excessively either. Those unhealthy habits are forms of risky behaviors. People who are overweight or weak aren’t respected as much as someone with a muscular body because they’re seen as lazy or greedy. Although it’s easy to think that the world is shallow, humans are wired to judge others based on their appearance.

Developing a strong, muscular body is a good way to display good genes. Working out is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Exercising regularly brings countless benefits, including a better immune system, improved bone density, and fewer chances of experiencing depression and anxiety.

Choose the Right Hairstyle

The look you choose will increase your confidence regardless of what it is. Short hair is better because it projects masculinity, especially when you also have a light stubble or beard. Also, don’t overstyle your hair because you’ll seem cold and predictable. Having gray hair makes you look mature and distinguished. Going bald, on the other hand, doesn’t make you less attractive. The best option when this happens is to shave your head.

To Shave or Not to Shave

Growing facial hair makes you look more attractive because it’s strongly related to dominance and assertiveness. Not shaving for a while makes you look rugged and masculine. To maximize your potential, don’t underestimate facial hair. For men who prefer a clean-cut image, this is hard at first, but most women find it attractive because it expresses masculinity, strength, and dominance.

Is Penis Size Important?

A lot of men are worried about penis size, but small or big penises are rare. In this area, being average is the best position to be in. This concern comes from the fact that the penis is the part of the male anatomy that stands out the most. Thinking about this too much leads to anxiety, so avoid it.

Age and Attraction

Some people believe that when a man gets older, his appearance worsens. According to research though, older men are often more attractive. This happens because male attractiveness isn’t based on physical appearance but on skill, confidence, status, and experience. This explains why women often choose older men as romantic partners.

To attract and date beautiful women, men should work out regularly and eat healthy food. You can date young and attractive women well into your fifties and sixties by looking after yourself. Additional traits younger women look for include leadership, confidence, and decisiveness. The opposite traits are considered anti-seductive.

A Seductive Voice

Deep voices are memorable and command respect. This is the case because deep voices suggest high levels of testosterone. To develop a deep voice speak from your diaphragm rather than your throat. When in doubt, slow your breathing and relax your muscles.

Smells that Seduce

The closest thing we have to a magic scent that lets men attract women is a compound known as hedione, but that’s because people ignore something more obvious: testosterone. To increase your testosterone naturally, you should sleep well, eat a healthy diet, avoid alcohol, and exercise often. Using a fragrance is better than not wearing one at all.

Clothes that Captivate

Wearing the right kind of clothes helps us gain influence. Being well-dressed makes you appear more intelligent, successful, and popular. So what does dressing well mean? When in doubt, it’s better to overdress than to underdress. This signals that you’re socially intelligent. The first step is to remove all clothes that are too tight or loose from your wardrobe. A good place to start includes suits, fitted shirts, and dress shirts because they work for everyone. Naturally, dressing well has positive repercussions on your dating life, as well as your personal and professional life. According to science, the most attractive colors are red and black.

Money and Status

The modern world is obsessed with fame and fortune, but you don’t need them to stand out. Wealth attracts women, but once the effect of being with someone with money wears off, problems appear and the relationship suffers. While it would be easy to call women shallow, the truth is that most of them aren’t after men’s money. They are, however, attracted to the positive qualities one needs to become rich and famous. Someone rich is probably (though not always) intelligent, focused, and confident. In other words, money represents social proof.

Your Sexual Market Value

Some things in life grant you high value, such as confidence, status, fame, success, or talent. How much you respect yourself will reflect in everything you do, from your appearance to how you carry yourself in conversations. To raise your special market value, use the lessons you’ve learned so far: exercise, grow your facial hair, wear the right scent, and dress well.

Low-value men are common and refuse to do those things because they take time and effort. High-value men are rare and in high demand, so if you can turn into one by making some adjustments, you’ll be respected and desired. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts to becoming high-value. You must put in a lot of work every day to get some rewards in the future. Since most men are looking for instant gratification, you have an advantage. To get women, you don’t need to be successful, you need to have all the traits that could make you successful at some point.

Good Guys vs. Bad Guys

Weak men fail regardless of all the other positive traits they have. Whatever you do, don’t get in the habit of pleasing others because soon, they’ll lose respect for you and they’ll try to control you. To become strong, you need to take the strongest course of action. This involves following the path of self-respect, freedom, and dignity. Also, be honest with yourself and with others. Don’t lie or manipulate situations to try and get some future reward. The best thing you can do is to ignore what others think of you. If you see yourself as weak, powerless, and helpless, that’s how others will perceive you too, especially women.

To embrace your masculinity and go from beta male to alpha male, strengthen your body first and your mind will follow. Having a strong body will give you certainty. Eventually, you’ll become dominant which is not the same as being aggressive. Dominance means efficiency, intelligence, having clear goals, and a sense of direction in life.

Part Two: Create Attraction

Women want men to show interest in them, but there are some implicit rules to the seduction game that most people are aware of. First, the location you choose is important, or as the author puts it, “access is everything”. Despite what you might think, bars and clubs are terrible places to meet and seduce women. Those places are crowded and noisy, and there’s a lot of competition. The best opportunities to meet women happen during the day. Examples include coffee shops, restaurants, concerts, gyms, parks, and malls.

The problem then becomes not to meet women, but to meet the right kind of women. Are you after someone who takes care of their health? Someone who enjoys live music? Again, location is everything. By pursuing beautiful women, you’ll end up meeting and dating beautiful women. This is a choice and you don’t have to settle.

Approaching Women

Approaching women is a rare quality that few men are willing to try and that’s what makes it intoxicating. Talking to someone you don’t know implies nerve, confidence, and boldness. In other words, that shows you have the rarest traits in the modern world. This is a nerve-wracking experience, but if you’re willing to go through mild discomfort, the rewards are immense. Approaching women with boldness makes you unforgettable, even if you get rejected. When you do this, you’re singling a woman out and making her feel special.

To seduce a woman, you must first talk to her. To connect with someone physically, you first have to connect emotionally and this usually starts with a conversation. There’s no such thing as a perfect moment or pick-up line. You only have opportunities and you can either take them or ignore them.

When you approach a woman, you only need one thing: confidence. As long as you’re not rude or unflattering, there’s nothing wrong with approaching women. Women spend their lives waiting for men and they’ll either accept you or reject you, but they won’t resent you.

The possibility of rejection makes a lot of men anxious. This can lead to paralysis, but the best way to overcome it is by trying and trying again. A missed opportunity is more painful than rejection. A lot of women want to be seduced and they’re waiting for a strong confident man they can’t resist. You can introduce yourself and break the monotony of their day.

Read Her Body

The most powerful form of communication isn’t the spoken word, but body language. Women use a variety of non-verbal cues to express desire. The author identifies five steps of body language:

Eye contact: this is how a woman lets you know she’s noticed you.
Smiling: this is her way of inviting you to come and talk to her.
Communication: this is when you approach and talk to her.
Preening: preening cues include blushing, laughing or giggling, breathing heavily, licking her lips, or pointing her body toward you.
Touch: this is when the woman touches you.

To show disinterest, a woman will cross her legs and arms, or turn away from you.

Attractive Body Language

Women are better at interpreting body language than men. When approaching women, use open body language. Don’t cross your arms and legs, look them straight in the eyes, and don’t hunch. Also, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not by behaving erratically. Move naturally and not in a way you think is going to make you more attractive. Act like you’re in control of your environment and body.

Eyes and Smiles

Women say a lot with just a look. When a woman makes eye contact with you, she’s expecting you to approach her. Never be the first to break eye contact with a woman. Instead, break the tension with a smile.

Online Dating

The main advantage of online dating is that it lets you connect with women quickly. That said, the seduction process is still hard. Talking to someone online removes the fear and anxiety of interacting with someone in real life. On top of that, online dating comes with its own set of problems. The biggest problem is that, since you don’t approach the person in real life, you never get to display confidence and strength. This implies that you’re talking to the woman in question because it’s easier. In the online world, you’re solely judged on your appearance and first impressions are important. Being attractive is one thing, but communicating well is different. The real seduction takes place in the real world, not online.

Use Social Media to Your Advantage

Social media is ego-driven. First, you must understand that you won’t capture someone’s attention by becoming a fanboy. Being responsive to everything someone posts online will cause the person in question to lose interest in you. This signals desperation and weakness. To captivate women’s attention, post high-status pictures on social media. This reflects an appealing and attractive lifestyle. Examples include pictures of you working on your business or hobby, traveling, or doing physical activity. Displaying social proof is also important, so show yourself with other high-value people having fun with you.

Texting and Calling

You can contact people you know 24/7, but that doesn’t mean you should. When you contact a woman you just met, figure out if she’s interested in you. Create mystery and suspense before moving forward and when she responds, you can ask her out. When the back-and-forth starts, give the other person time to respond. As you first get to know someone, refrain from sending too many messages, initiating all conversations, and expressing everything you feel. Just send a message and wait for a response. For attraction to happen, you need space. Be less responsive if the situation demands it. Project strength and confidence and don’t reply to messages immediately or because it’s the nice thing to do. Being responsive makes you look weak and too available.

Setting dates

Setting a date is easy, but there are some logistics to consider. The evening is usually the best time for a day during a weekday. Once you’ve had a couple of dates with someone, wait to set up another date. The worst thing you can do is grow impatient because you seem boring and predictable.

When She Flakes and Cancels Dates

It’s frustrating when a woman cancels a date at the last minute, but everything happens for a reason. There are endless reasons why women cancel dates, but unless it’s a legitimate reason, you should move on. If she’s not into you from the beginning, the relationship won’t work. Regardless of what happens, don’t react emotionally because it won’t change a thing.

Going No Contact

When a woman shows no interest and pulls away from you, go no contact. One way to kill attraction is by always initiating contact or reaching out first. So expect her to contact you and not the other way around. When she does, ask her out on a date.

Stop Apologizing

When you apologize, you lose respect and status. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should never apologize. Do it when you commit a minor wrongdoing. Whatever you do though, don’t get into the habit of apologizing repeatedly.

Part Three: Build Attraction

The seduction process can be divided into two: first contact and the chase. The former is about meeting someone and seeing whether she finds you attractive. The latter is about creating attraction so that she falls for you. This process is a delicate balance between chasing and being chased. If you build strong foundations, building attraction will unfold smoothly.

Never Rush the Seduction Process

If you express your feelings early on in the relationship, you might kill attraction. Confidence means strength and valuing yourself, not just the relationship. In relationships, you can move too fast. If you’re the one moving too fast, you show that you care more which makes you weak.

Never Invest Too Much Too Soon

Your first dates should be as simple as possible. Don’t spend too much and don’t plan too much. If you do, you’re trying too hard to impress her. In fact, your presence should be enough to impress her, not external things. Hold back your emotions and only express them when you’re sure the relationship is worth it. At first, signal that your love is hard to get.

Maintain Mystery

When you meet a woman for the first time, don’t tell her everything about you. Revealing too much about yourself kills attraction. Intrigue, on the other hand, creates desire. In this case, less is more. In the early stages of the seduction process, mystery is your friend.

Exploit Her Weakness for Words

Words are powerful. The main asset of a woman is beauty, the main asset of a man is words. The best way to communicate with women is light and relaxed, so avoid serious topics like business, the economy, or politics. Never brag about your achievements either. Let your actions speak for themselves. Become a storyteller and tell amusing anecdotes. Also don’t underestimate the power of flattery. Compliments disarm women but don’t overdo it.

The Magic of Touch

We’re wired for touch. Touch expresses intentions and desires in a manner words can’t Requests followed with a light touch have more chances of success, for example. Touch also implies confidence and therefore has the potential to create attraction, If you use touch the right way, you create attraction, but if you use it the wrong way, you lose it. If you’re going to touch a woman by hugging her, for example, don’t hesitate. A clumsy touch signals a lack of confidence. You might find resistance when pushing for intimacy early in a relationship but don’t give up. That said, don’t do this too frequently or attraction will fade.

Get Her to Chase You

When we think about the seduction process, we think the man is doing the chasing. When we approach a woman, and the initial resistance is down, she goes from passive to proactive. This means she goes from being chased to chasing. For a successful seduction to happen, you should let her chase you. Otherwise, she’ll pull away. Appear to be indifferent and wait. A relationship unfolds naturally and you shouldn’t chase commitment. In other words, if you seem too available, you’ll become less attractive and desirable in a woman’s eyes.

The Power of Sex

Sex is natural because we’re biologically designed to reproduce. Sex is a turning point in a relationship. That said, sex can kill attraction if you do it in a weak or submissive way. Intimacy can’t be rushed because you can turn a woman off. In the realm of sex, there is such a thing as trying too hard. Pursue intimacy fearlessly and no matter what happens, don’t apologize for it. Take control of the situation and don’t be too passive. Take the lead, be unpredictable, and get carried away. Being dominant in the bedroom is your job and you won’t ruin a relationship because of it. Also, do the things you enjoy and give you pleasure without inhibition. In other words, have fun and don’t complicate things.

Never Give Your Love Too Easily

On average, it takes longer for women to fall in love than men. For this reason, rushing a woman into commitment is a mistake. Until that happens, interact with her in a relaxed and fun manner and be a challenge. Creating the illusion of less availability makes you more valuable. Playing hard to get requires strength and confidence.

Lead Her into Attraction

Taking the lead makes you stand out. For this purpose, you should lead a woman. This doesn’t mean that you should control her because everyone wants freedom. Rather, it refers to knowing what you want from the relationship and going after it. The goal is usually intimacy, but you must first take the lead. Dominance and leadership are desirable traits.

When pursuing a relationship with someone, do it without hesitation. Don’t apologize for your actions or your intentions. These traits signal that a man is socially intelligent, can acquire resources, and offer protection in a natural environment. When a woman refuses to follow your lead, ask her what she wants instead. Being flexible at times is also part of being a leader.

Part Four: Maintaining Attraction

Maintaining attraction over time is for people who want a long-term relationship. A lot of men think the answer is to please women, but this tactic eventually backfires because it makes you weak and easy to manipulate. To have a successful relationship in the long term, you might figure out how to handle problems and how to maintain attraction.

Stay Light and Relaxed

The best way to keep a relationship alive is to keep things light and fun. Becoming too serious kills attraction. One of the best ways to keep things light is by focusing on the present (this is referred to as mindfulness). Doing so will help you notice your emotions without reacting to them. Similarly, having a good sense of humor is an attractive quality too.

Don’t Focus on the Relationship

In any relationship, men and women have gender roles and these roles are assigned by nature. One of the fastest ways to kill attraction is for the man to become relationship-focused. This is a feminine behavior, and as such, it goes against nature. Contrary to popular belief, putting the relationship before everything else isn’t advisable.

Give Her What She Needs

Women ask for things like love, commitment, and devotion and men think that by giving them those things, women will be pleased. As soon as women get what they want, they lose interest. Instead of focusing on what women want, focus on what they need. Giving in is anti-seductive, so don’t.

Don’t Play It Safe

Men who play it safe do so to avoid upsetting women. Lasting attraction though, happens when you put yourself in uncomfortable and painful situations. In other words, to create attraction, you must embrace sadness, anger, jealousy, fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. You can’t go through life expecting to never hurt a woman’s feelings. Emotions are unavoidable. Even if you make a woman experience those emotions that doesn’t mean you’re bad.

Anxiety Fuels Attraction

While most people believe bringing security and certainty is what men should bring to the table in a relationship, there’s a healthy degree of anxiety and uncertainty. Although unethical, this is what research shows.

Your Lover Is Not Your Mother

Women want to mate with men who seem superior. This is known as hypergamy. Don’t view every woman like you see your mother (kind and supportive) because their unconditional love is reserved for their children.

Never Follow a Woman’s Lead

Some women want you to be in a relationship with them and they’ll do everything they can to achieve that goal. Don’t derail the seduction process by following her lead. She will soon realize she’s moving too fast and you’ll look weak. When she asks you to do something inconvenient, listen to your instincts and don’t do it.

Buying Gifts for Women

Never try to buy someone’s love. When a man has resources, that makes him desirable at a biological level. What makes you attractive is your ability to acquire resources, not the resources themselves. The best moments to buy her gifts are when you feel like it and when she least expects it.

Attraction Grows in Space

The concept of space is one of the most important parts of attraction. Space allows us to grow, think, and develop our own identity. When you’re in a relationship, you might forget about space, but you shouldn’t. Ironically, being apart from the other person leads to intimacy and connection. When you talk about everything with your partner and when you spend too much time together, you need space. The lack of space suffocates attraction. Predictability can be a relationship killer. This makes you boring, unexciting, and unattractive.

Never Use Logic to Fight Emotion

Women are inclined to suffer from worry and anxiety. When this happens, don’t try to use reason to explain it. Emotion is irrational by nature, so you won’t be able to explain it. Your job isn’t to fix anyone’s life. Sometimes you must remain indifferent, especially when the other person doesn’t want to talk.

Mirror Her Emotions

Women tend to create problems out of nowhere. Your job is to be strong enough to handle those emotions. When the other person is rude, unresponsive, or mean, leave and don’t contact them, even if the situation makes you anxious.

Women Always Test

Men who interact with women get tested constantly but don’t realize it. Women do this because it’s the easiest way to determine if men are strong or weak. Passing the test means you have good genes and can have strong, healthy children. Sometimes women withdraw from a relationship as a test. The best thing you can do is show strength and indifference. When a woman is rude or disrespectful, walk away. Jealousy is another common trap women use to test men. To disarm her, use humor or indifference.

Induce Scarcity to Increase Your Value

When you appear to be unavailable, you become more valuable. Something common, on the other hand, has no value. Loss, regret, and missed opportunities are the most uncomfortable emotions. When you lose a scarce resource, you experience a spiral of negative emotions. Avoiding loss rather than seeking gains is what the experts call loss aversion. You can use these concepts to become a high-value man. If you want love, act as if you don’t want it and you’ll soon get it.

Stay Out of the Friend Zone

The friend zone is the opposite of intimacy with a woman. Men often struggle with this because they want more than a friendship. Being in the friend zone tells the woman in question that you lack the confidence to seduce her. Being unable to express what you want is one of the most anti-seductive traits.

She Must Invest in You

When you give love and affection to a woman, you expect the same things in return. This isn’t always the case. She must be invested in you too, either emotionally, physically, financially, or in terms of time. All of this shows that she values you and that she’s in it for the long run. Experts refer to this phenomenon as sunk cost fallacy. This is why some people have trouble leaving a relationship. They’ve invested so much time and effort into it that leaving it is a waste. If your love is easy to get, that’s not valuable or attractive.

Dealing with Conflict

The best way to deal with conflict is to agree to all accusations and amplify them. Again, never use logic. This is the best way to neutralize emotional situations.

Handling Jealousy

Jealousy is a common and natural emotion we all experience at some point. The problem with it is that it’s overwhelming. Even when you’re experiencing it, display confidence and strength. Whatever you do, indifference is the best antidote against jealousy.

Restore Dying Attraction

When a woman has lost attraction and wants to end the relationship, pulling away won’t be enough to restore it. To reignite the passion, you must introduce uncertainty. First, show you’re high value and that you have options. Second, capture her attention by making her anxious. Third, become a rare resource. Fourth, the woman should feel she might lose you forever. Being in a state of safety and security makes people comfortable.

The X Factor

Attraction doesn’t happen in perfect harmony, it happens amid anxiety, selfishness, and uncertainty. Once you capture attraction, you make room for love. A concept that creates attraction is the X factor, a combination of things that make you irresistible. The X factor is attitude. It doesn’t matter if you’re educated, handsome, or rich, your attitude is the most seductive trait you can have. The best way to have an attitude is by not pleasing everyone and by having a mission in life.