Something to Keep
“Your tolerance for boredom is your ceiling for mastery.”
Mark Manson
A Second Look
I know a lot of people who care about status, which is fine. Personally, I feel more attracted to mastery. Dedicating your life to something and learning its intricacies in ways that most people will never know captivates me. The thing about achieving mastery is that it requires you to change your relationship with boredom. Mastering something means doing it over and over again, and most aren’t willing to go through that.
It’s easier to believe that something comes from natural talent than from doing it over and over again, but we do this all the time. Everyone has the potential to master something; the difficult part is knowing what to focus on in a world that overwhelms us with options.
Personally, I’m really into music. I’ve been trying to learn how to play the guitar for the past decade or so. The interesting thing about this is that I can tell you exactly what my weaknesses are. Most times, I simply avoid them because it’s easier and more fulfilling to keep doing what I already know. Needless to say, that’s a big mistake. It also doesn’t help that I’m constantly comparing myself to people who are much further ahead than me on this journey.
Despite these problems, what I love about mastery isn’t that it’s impressive to others; it’s that it makes me forget about everything else when I’m under its spell. This is called flow. Flow is when you’re so immersed in an activity to the point that you lose self-consciousness. If the activity is too hard or too easy, you can’t get into flow. When the activity is just right in terms of difficulty, you experience peak performance, and it’s beautiful.
If you want to know more about it, here’s my summary of Robert Greene’s Mastery.
Something I Liked
For the last couple of days, I’ve been reading “Semper Virilis”, a long-form article in the Art of Manliness blog which I mentioned last week. I’m finally almost done with it, and the only reason I’m bringing it up again is that most people think becoming a man involves quick fixes (like dressing well or making a lot of money).
Although things like that can certainly improve your life, you also need to focus on character, and that’s not a quick fix. Quite the opposite, actually. Cultivating honesty, courage, and compassion isn’t easy. In fact, displaying those traits is painful sometimes because it requires friction. I’m just glad someone out there is bringing it up.
It’s worth pointing out that women can have those traits I mentioned as well. They’re not just the main characteristics of masculinity. That said, I don’t think we have that many men who display honesty, courage, and compassion. In fact, I’d argue that the modern world celebrates men (and women) who behave like teenagers even if they’re much, much older. Therefore, we focus on shallow fixes without focusing on our character. I think it’s time we stop celebrating immature people and we go back to what matters the most.
You build character in the same way you build mastery: one day at a time.